The 16 custody factors every Washington parent needs to understand - before they walk into a courtroom, write a declaration, or say a single word in testimony.
I went into my first hearing not knowing these 16 factors existed. I found out the hard way that the judge was measuring everything I said against a legal standard I had never seen. This guide is what I wish someone had put in my hands that week.
Table of Contents
Everything you will learn
Washington law requires judges to weigh 16 specific factors when deciding custody and parenting time. This guide covers every single one - what it means, what evidence speaks to it, and exactly what helps and what hurts your case.
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I went into my first hearing not knowing these 16 factors existed. I found out the hard way that the judge was measuring everything I said against a legal standard I had never seen. This guide is what I wish someone had put in my hands that week.
Intro
Why these 16 factors will define everything that happens in your case
How Washington law actually works, what judges are measuring while you speak, and how to read this guide to prepare your specific situation.
Free preview
1
Factors 1-4: The parent-child relationship
Not who is listed on paperwork - but who is actually present. The bedtime routines, the school pickups, the doctor appointments, the hard conversations. Judges know the difference.
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2
Factors 5-8: Stability, history, and what you have already shown
Your employment schedule, each parent's wishes, what the child wants (and how much that matters at different ages), and the factor most parents overlook - what you have already agreed to without realizing it has legal weight.
Full guide
3
Factors 9-13: Your child's world - school, health, siblings, community
The factor that most often decides close cases when everything else is equal. What the judge is watching for in how you talk about your child's life - and the single sentence that separates parents who win from parents who don't.
Full guide
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Factors 14-16: Safety, criminal history, and the cooperation factor
The factors that carry the most weight when they apply. Domestic violence, criminal history, and the one question every judge asks that most parents answer wrong - without knowing they are answering it at all.
Full guide
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Your personal case preparation worksheet
A guided worksheet to map your specific facts to the specific factors that apply to your situation. Parents who complete this before their hearing walk in with something most attorneys don't give their own clients - a clear, organized story that speaks directly to what the judge is required to weigh.
Full guide
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You are reading a free preview
This preview includes the introduction and first chapter. The complete guide - all chapters, all checklists, all worksheets - is available for $12. Every parent in a Washington custody case needs this information. We priced it so that cost is never the reason you go without it.
When a Washington family court judge decides custody and parenting time, they do not just listen to who sounds more believable. They are required by law - RCW 26.09.187 - to evaluate 16 specific factors. Every declaration you write, every word you say in testimony, every piece of evidence you introduce should speak to one or more of these factors.
Most pro se parents have no idea these factors exist, let alone what they mean or how to address them. By the time you finish this guide, you will know exactly what the judge is measuring - and how to make sure your case speaks directly to each factor that applies to your situation.
This is not legal advice. It is the knowledge I wish I had before I walked into King County family court representing myself.
How to use this guide
Read through all 16 factors first to understand the full picture. Then go back through and mark the ones most relevant to your case. For each relevant factor, write down 2-3 specific facts from your life that speak to it. Those facts become the foundation of your declarations and your testimony.
The 16 Factors - Overview
Washington law groups the custody factors into several categories. The court considers all of them, but the weight given to each factor depends entirely on the specific facts of your case. No single factor is automatically decisive.
Parenting factors
Factors 1-8 focus on each parent's relationship with the child, their ability to parent, and the child's connections.
Child-centered factors
Factors 9-13 focus on the child's needs, wishes, relationships, and adjustment to home, school, and community.
Safety factors
Factors 14-15 address domestic violence, abuse, neglect, and criminal history.
Cooperation factor
Factor 16 looks at each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent.
Factors 1-4: The Parent-Child Relationship
1
The child's relationship with each parent
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(i)
This is the most fundamental factor. The judge wants to understand the depth, quality, and consistency of each parent's relationship with the child. Not just who lives with the child - but who is emotionally present, who does the daily work of parenting, and who the child turns to.
What helps your case
Specific examples of routines you maintain with the child (bedtime, meals, school pickup)
Activities you do together regularly - not just vacations but everyday life
Evidence of emotional attunement - how you respond when the child is upset, sick, or struggling
Documentation: school records listing you as contact, medical records, photos with dates
Common mistake
Parents often focus on attacking the other parent instead of demonstrating their own relationship. Judges notice when a parent spends more time criticizing than describing their own involvement. Focus on your own connection first.
2
Each parent's past and future ability to perform parenting functions
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(ii)
The court evaluates whether you can actually do the work of parenting - meeting the child's physical, emotional, and developmental needs. This includes your work schedule, living situation, support network, mental and physical health, and demonstrated track record.
What helps your case
A stable, appropriate home environment for the child
Flexible work schedule or childcare plan that accommodates the child's school schedule
Support network: family nearby, trusted childcare providers
No history of substance abuse, mental health crises, or inability to care for the child
3
Emotional needs and developmental level of the child
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(iii)
Every child is different. The judge wants to know that you understand your specific child's developmental stage and emotional needs - and that your proposed parenting plan actually serves those needs rather than just your preferences.
What helps your case
Show you understand what your child actually needs at their age - not generic child development theory
Describe specific ways you meet your child's emotional needs right now
If the child has special needs, show your knowledge and involvement with their care team
Demonstrate that your schedule proposal fits the child's actual routine and needs
4
Child's relationship with siblings and others significant to the child
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(iv)
Courts strongly prefer to preserve sibling relationships and the child's connection to extended family, close friends, and community. A plan that separates siblings or cuts off important relationships will face scrutiny.
What helps your case
Document the child's existing relationships with grandparents, cousins, close family friends
Show how your proposed plan preserves and supports these relationships
If siblings would be separated, have a strong reason and plan for maintaining sibling contact
Factors 5-8: Stability, History, and Agreement
5
Each parent's employment schedule
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(v)
The court needs to understand who is actually available to care for the child. Night shifts, travel schedules, unpredictable hours - all of this affects whether your proposed parenting time is realistic. Being honest here is important. A parenting plan that ignores your actual schedule will undermine your credibility.
What helps your case
Be specific about your actual schedule - days, hours, predictability
Have a concrete childcare plan for when you are working
Show that your proposed schedule is workable given your employment reality
If your schedule is flexible or you work from home, document it
6
Wishes of the parents
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(vi)
The court will hear what each parent wants. This is your opportunity to clearly articulate your proposal and why it serves your child. Vague or aggressive positions hurt you. A specific, child-focused proposal with clear reasoning helps you.
What helps your case
State your proposed schedule clearly and specifically - days, times, holidays
Frame every request in terms of the child's benefit, not your own preference
Show you have considered the other parent's role and are not trying to eliminate them
Avoid vague requests like "maximum time" - be specific
7
Wishes of the child
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(vii)
Washington courts consider the child's wishes based on their age and maturity. There is no magic age - a mature 10-year-old may get more weight than an immature 14-year-old. The court will not put a young child on the stand but may appoint a guardian ad litem to represent the child's interests. Never coach your child or put them in the middle.
What helps your case
If your child has expressed wishes, note their age and how they expressed them - without coaching
Never tell your child what to say or put them in the position of choosing sides
If a GAL is appointed, cooperate fully and honestly
Document age-appropriate expressions of preference without manufacturing them
Never do this
Courts immediately notice - and penalize - parents who coach children, share court documents with children, or use children to deliver messages to the other parent. This is one of the fastest ways to damage your credibility with a judge. Do not do it, even if you think the child "wants" to say something.
8
Any agreement between the parties
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(viii)
If you and the other parent have agreed on any aspects of parenting - even informally - document it. Courts strongly prefer agreements over contested orders. Even partial agreements narrow the issues and show the court you can co-parent.
What helps your case
If you agree on school, medical decisions, or holiday schedules - say so in your declaration
Show willingness to negotiate and compromise on genuine issues
A proposed parenting plan that includes reasonable provisions shows good faith
Factors 9-13: The Child's World
9
Each parent's past and future ability to support the child's relationship with the other parent
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(ix) - Factor 16 equivalent
This is one of the most heavily weighted factors in Washington family court. A parent who actively undermines the child's relationship with the other parent will be penalized - sometimes severely. Courts view this as a form of emotional harm to the child.
What helps your case
Show specific examples of encouraging the child's relationship with the other parent
Document times you facilitated contact, adjusted schedules, or spoke positively about the other parent
If the other parent has limited the child's contact with you, document each instance carefully
Never speak negatively about the other parent to or in front of the child
10
Child's adjustment to home, school, and community
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(x)
Courts are reluctant to disrupt a child who is thriving in their current school and community. If your child is well-adjusted and connected, any plan that disrupts that stability faces a higher bar. This factor can also work in your favor if the child's current situation is unstable.
What helps your case
School records showing attendance, grades, and teacher relationships
Community ties: sports teams, religious community, friend groups, after-school activities
If you are proposing a change, explain specifically why the benefit outweighs the disruption
If the current situation is unstable, document that clearly with specific examples
11
Mental and physical health of all parties
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(xi)
Mental and physical health of both parents and the child are relevant. A diagnosis alone does not disqualify you - what matters is whether you are managing your health and whether it affects your parenting. Hiding a health issue almost always backfires. Addressing it proactively and showing you are managing it well is far better.
What helps your case
If you have a health condition, show you are actively treating it and it does not impair parenting
Treatment records, therapist letters, and medication compliance can all help
If the other parent has an untreated condition that affects the child, document specific incidents
Never exaggerate or fabricate health concerns about the other parent
12
Involvement of each parent in education and extracurricular activities
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(xii)
Who goes to parent-teacher conferences? Who knows the child's teacher's name? Who takes the child to practice? The day-to-day involvement in a child's school and activities tells the court a great deal about the actual parent-child relationship - beyond the legal arrangement.
What helps your case
List specific school events, conferences, and activities you have attended
Name the teachers, coaches, counselors you have relationships with
Show communications with the school - emails, sign-in sheets if available
Document activities you have enrolled the child in, transported them to, or coached
13
Each parent's ability to prioritize the child's interests over their own
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(xiii)
The court is looking for a parent who can put the child first - even when it is inconvenient, even when it means being flexible with the other parent. A parent who is rigidly focused on winning, who refuses reasonable adjustments, or who consistently puts their own needs above the child's will be seen unfavorably.
What helps your case
Examples of times you made sacrifices or adjustments for the child's benefit
Willingness to be flexible on scheduling for the child's activities or the other parent's needs
Focus your declarations on the child - not on what you want or what the other parent did wrong
Factors 14-16: Safety and Cooperation
14
Domestic violence or abuse history
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(xiv) - RCW 26.09.191
If there is a history of domestic violence, Washington law creates a presumption against giving the abusive parent the majority of parenting time or sole decision-making authority. This is one of the most serious factors in any case. If you have experienced domestic violence, document everything and consider consulting an attorney regardless of cost.
What helps your case
Police reports, protection orders, medical records, photos, and text messages are all relevant
Witness declarations from people who observed the abuse or its effects
DV program records if you attended support services
If falsely accused: document your own behavior, communications, and any inconsistencies in the accusations
15
Criminal history
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(xv)
Criminal history - especially crimes involving violence, drugs, or crimes against children - is relevant to parenting fitness. Being proactive is almost always better than hoping the court does not find out. If you have criminal history, address it directly: what happened, what you have done since, and why it does not affect your parenting today.
What helps your case
Acknowledge the history directly in your declaration - do not hide it
Show rehabilitation: completion of programs, time elapsed, changed circumstances
Character references from people who can speak to your parenting today
If the other parent has criminal history, provide documentation and explain the specific risk to the child
16
Each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent
RCW 26.09.187(3)(a)(xvi)
This is often the deciding factor when everything else is relatively equal. The parent who demonstrates genuine willingness to support and encourage the child's relationship with the other parent is almost always viewed more favorably. Courts have seen every manipulation tactic. A parent who obstructs contact, alienates the child, or uses the child as a weapon will be recognized and penalized.
What helps your case
Specific examples of facilitating contact and communication with the other parent
Texts or emails showing cooperative communication about the child
Willingness to propose a schedule that includes meaningful time for the other parent
Never speaking negatively about the other parent to the child - and documenting if the other parent does this
Your Personal Preparation Worksheet
Go through each factor below and write 2-3 specific facts from your own life that speak to it. These become the foundation of your declarations and your testimony. Specific and concrete always beats vague and general.
Factor preparation checklist
Factor 1: Write down 3 specific daily routines you maintain with your child (not vacations - everyday life).
Factor 2: Describe your home, your schedule, and your support network for childcare.
Factor 3: What does your child specifically need right now at their age? How do you provide it?
Factor 5: Write out your actual work schedule. How does your proposed parenting plan fit it?
Factor 10: List your child's school, teacher, activities, and community connections.
Factor 12: List every school event, conference, practice, or game you have attended in the last 12 months.
Factor 16: Write 3 specific examples of supporting the child's relationship with the other parent.
The most important thing to remember
Judges read hundreds of declarations. Vague statements like "I am a good parent" or "the other parent is bad" do nothing. Specific, concrete facts - dates, names, places, what you said and did - are what actually move the needle. Write your declaration like you are telling a story to someone who knows nothing about you. Show, do not tell.
Knowledge is the first step. Court-ready documents are the next one.
Now that you understand what judges look for, the next step is making sure your declarations, your parenting plan, and your filings actually speak to these factors - clearly, professionally, and in the format Washington courts expect. That is what we do.